holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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