The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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