What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
