he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
