so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
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I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
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If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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