do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Fuck me I smell like cheese
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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