We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
