You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
