i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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