5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
babies were throwing up all over the place
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
