I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
