Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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