What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
