there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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