Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
