sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
