Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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