and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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