you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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