She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
