You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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