Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
