I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This baby is an asshole
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
