She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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