I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
