Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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