My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
