we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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