i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
