they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
