I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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