hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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