Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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