He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
