I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
