So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize