How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
