Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
