So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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