Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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