when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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