see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
