I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Less talking, more tequila
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
