We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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