Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
