How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
