he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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