they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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