she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
