Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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