Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...