Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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