my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
