who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
