I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
