im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
ugly people sure do ruin things
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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