I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
