ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize