I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
