Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
