I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
