discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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