what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just had sex on a roof
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
