is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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