wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
