and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
